A gift and my April BJP Spirit doll

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write about something – oddly, I’ve never had this problem before (ha, ha) – but when I posted on Facebook our “big news” my husband was kind of ticked off at me. His point “it’s airing the family dirty laundry” (which I personally don’t think is a good description, but I know what he meant) and why did you have to tell everyone?

So, I’ve been thinking about why I did. Because I’m that way (ha! typical female response). No, here’s my analogy. When I was pregnant with our second child, it was common to not tell anyone you were pregnant until after the 1st trimester  – then you wouldn’t have to deal with all the questions, issues of doing that.   However, at the time, I had a friend who had suffered several early miscarriages and her comment was “but then you don’t have any support when it does happen”.   I guess that all depends on how you view your friends.   I have always found people to be much more support than they are an irritation.   Yes, people say stupid things, but they mean well – no one says things to be hurtful, just usually in an awkward situation they don’t know what to say and they say something dumb or trite.

Is that bad, well, I don’t think so – they’re trying their best (and haven’t we all stuck our foot in our mouths sometimes)?

Anyway, so in the interest of support and because I’m “that way” – here goes. Our son, Matey Moo has always been different – he just “marches to the beat of a different drummer” (see there’s that trite bit – ha ha). Anyway, we’ve had discussions with teachers, but his development has always been pretty much on target and he’s done OK in school, communication is there, so we’ve never worried about it. However, this year, the social strains are getting awful.  He’s getting  picked on by other kids (even physically hurt) and when I’ve talked to him about it, it just becomes more and more clear that he doesn’t understand what’s going on.  He doesn’t “get” the games on the playground, he takes sarcasm literally, he desperately tries to be friends with people and doesn’t understand the “give and take” mechanism.

He’s very very bright with a passionate interest in movies – he reads screenplays (he’s 7) and he’s come up with some amazing marketing ideas for them. Along with organizing all his favorite action figures by movie company (Dreamworks, Fox, Pixar, etc).

We had a meeting with his teachers and a speech/language therapist (oddly started to discuss his apparent stutter) and we began to see a pattern while speaking with them. The therapist wrote up her observations and told us we should see our pediatrician. So, we came home and did some research and then set up an appointment with his pediatrician. She heartily agrees that it looks like Asperger’s Syndrome.  What’s interesting here  is that knowing this has made a lot of things “click” into place. We’ve spent the week having “aha moment”  after “aha moment” and frankly if I feel anything it’s stupid for not picking it up sooner. So, now it’s off to a Psychologist for a real evaluation and we’re also doing an ADHD evaluation at the same time.  All of these things will help us better assess the situation and get him ready for school next year.

Is this sad, no. Is Asperger’s a degenerative disease. No. Is it manageable. Absolutely. Is he a fabulous kid still – absolutely. Do we need to know how to do with it and get him some help. Absolutely.

So, it’s weird. It’s a positive thing.  Of course there is a bit of baggage, but that’s in the past and now we can’t wait for what’s ahead and how much he’s going to grow.

Now, this may seem an odd seguebut I’m working on my Bead Journal Doll for the month and it’s become fairly emotionally laden. This month was my 43rd birthday, this revelation with Matey moo and just a general thankfulness for my family. I’m not done, but I should be by tonight (JUST slipping under the deadline) – so, here’s a peek:

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